Salt * Wet * Fish

We have often heard other people or even gay people saying that gay group or women’s group or transgender group are not necessarily. Why can’t they just blend in and talk about their issues together with others. Why do they need to be special or have a special group just for themselves?

In many ways, it is indeed redundant if there is equality in the society and its law and people don’t discriminate against each other. However, for certain groups discrimination is high and can even lead to death, depression and lot of other negative emotions.

Just look the recent apologies by Ex ex-gay ministry personal in the US and look at what is perceived as a higher proportion of drug and alcohol overuse within the gay community and the lack of self-esteem so prevalent with the gay community, including depression and suicide.

As long as there is strong discrimination within society, it is necessary for a group of like-minded people to meet to feel safe enough to talk about their problems without being judged and to share their stories so that at the very least, they don’t think that they are the only ones with such problems. Not only that, because of the lack of visibility and information, being together (virtually or otherwise) helps people to exchange information and to normalise their relationship with the world.

Nam Khim told a story related to him by a monk who has a follower who was secretly a cross-dresser. He has been cross-dressing for a while and always thought it was wrong for him to do so. He consulted the monk, but he told him that it is okay and nothing to worry about. The most that he is, is “strange”, everyone is strange in some ways anyway. That person, did not really take in his advise and continued looking for answers. Later on, he met a Chinese monk in Taiwan and the monk told him that it was wrong. A few days later, the person committed suicide.

It saddens me a lot even as I type this out, to think that there are still people out there who may face such troubles and has not seen the happiness of realization for oneself how okay and normal it is.

Of course, there are always people who just want to seek an answer to confirm their own negative thoughts and give it the justification to end one’s life. I wonder if that person could have been better off if he/she had been in a group with peers and to hear each other out.

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