Salt * Wet * Fish

Introduction
After posting my initial coming out article, a lot of people wrote to me, to express their thanks and also to share some of their lives with me. I would like to thank all who have trusted me in talking about their lives and also to those who have given me their continuous support.

It has been some 3 years since I last talked about my coming out experiences. 3 years have passed and, of course, I have came out to more people since. This article shall explore my experience or the past 3 years and some insights to this coming out thing.
The Importance of Coming Out

I cannot stress more that the process of coming out is an individual process. It is based on one’s capacity and environment. As such, for some it will be fast and others very slow, maybe never. It is a process of identifying ourselves as a gay person, regarding that self-confidence and consciously making the effort that other people could also know about it.

Having said that I always equate the process of coming out with that of growing up. As such, as much as it is important for anyone to grow up, so that they have the maturity to handle differences and difficulties in life, it is also as important for a gay person to come out of the closet. The coming out process is a maturing of the gay person’s confidence, self-identity and emotions.

One who is too tightly squeezed in the closet is constantly gripe with fears of being known, falls into depression easily of not being “normal” and/or feeling bad or sinful about his sexuality. This is not a good nor healthy life to lead. The sooner that we come out, the sooner you start to enjoy life and happiness, not unlike the feeling of being released from prison or having a huge stone lifted out of your heart.

I know that a lot of us tend to associate “coming out” with the effeminate, loud, overbearing and arrogant people. This is probably because these are the same people who are more visible in society. Being effeminate is not a problem, the problem seems to be that a lot effeminate people take on a weak character. What do I mean by that? They act and behaviors worst than women do! They scream at the slightest discomfort or scare, have emotional swings, have the most plastic canned laughter and act like they are the queen or princess of some kingdom.

Now don’t get me wrong again, there is nothing wrong with being a loud sister. I think that they can be quite a fun bunch of friends to be with (also a good test of how much self-confidence you have). It is those overbearing and arrogant one that I don’t really like. They give a bad name to the gay community. If we want respect from the society, then it will important for us gay people, who are out to the society, to be kind, humble, considerate, compassionate and loving people. This is the only way to show our worth in the society.

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